GUILTY AS CHARGED

Living in several counties and different states may be an advantageous, since one would learn different languages, be exposed to different cultures, and expand knowledge. One might think that all of the above would help people to be open-minded, become moderate, understanding, and tolerant with others. In my case, I have lived in and traveled to several dozen countries and states, which provided me with a unique outlook on life in general. Aging appears to be helpful in cumulating distinctive personal experience that helped me through the years to cope with the loss of the entire nation called Palestine and above all accept the humiliation inflected by my own race that failed us time and time again and continue to purposely wreak harms to the Palestinian men, women, children, and above all the land. Losing Palestine does not appear to move a single hair on the head of the Arab rulers. Unlike the loss of Palestine, The Arab world was stunned by losing Al-Andalus. Many Arab men are still grieving this crushing defeat through the centuries. I read in an ancient book that men wore colorful igal (the part of the head cover set, which is made of rope-like cord, used to secure a piece of cloth known as Shemagh in place) as part of their head-dress. After the fall of Al-Andalus, the men in the Arab world at that time tried to show their sadness and sorrow by wearing black igal , which is still black up to this day. So those Arab men are still grieving without even knowing it.

I am guilty of accusing these men as coward, fearful, and uncourageous for letting Palestine slip out of their hand, but keep promising the return of the refugees. I am guilty for assuming the boarders between the Arab countries are simply lines on the map. These boarders are wide and high for brothers and sisters and yet do not exist for the people from the west. These boarders cannot be passed by other fellow Arabs without going through humiliation, disgrace, and degradation. I am guilty for not forgiving those who gave up on Yafa, Safad, Beersheba, and all other cities and towns in Palestine. I am guilty for nicknaming the signees of the Oslo accord as stooges and traders. They have no right to speak in the name of the orphans and widows. Their hands should have been cut off, torn into pieces, and thrown to the wild dogs. I am guilty for accusing the Egyptians as hypocrites by opening their boarder to the enemy and provide them with goods, but they close the boarder on their starving fellow Gazans who are under siege depriving them from the basic life necessities. These are the same Egyptians who capitulated the land during the famous hoax called the six day war.

I admit my guilt for calling a prince an idiot for chartering a Concord airplane because he was late a few minutes to take his flight. Several hundred thousand dollars were wasted by this prince because he did not have the mental ability to wait for the next flight. I am guilty for naming some of the masters of the oil barrels as poodles of the west as for I know the revenues are being wasting on their ridiculous, ludicrous, and outrageous luxuries while their subjects are dying of hungers, starvations, and malnutrition. I am guilty for calling Arab students imbeciles for claiming to be from South America, Italy, Spain, or Greece so they can disguise their identity for the shame brought to their own countries. I am guilty for encouraging some of the abused, battered, and maltreated people to seek a better life outside their own countries. I now see their wisdom of refusing to listen to me because they think a nation without inhabitants is not a nation; for them I admit my total guilt for being selfish and egocentric.

I am guilty of accusing those who had relinquished the Dome of the Rock as being cowards and cruel, vindictive, and heartless motley bunch of individuals as for I know they are mighty powerful when they suppress and repress their own people to appease their masters. I am guilty of mocking those who would take painful punches from the enemy and in return they would promise a thunderous reprisal at the proper time and place; but the retaliation time never came about and the place had never been located.

I am guilty for raising my voice on an officer when I complained about misplacing me to teach fine art to third graders instead of teaching my specialty for which I was trained and educated. I am also guilty for refusing to read the green-book for which I know it is an insult to the intelligence of the average man in the streets of Tripoli. I admit my guilt for pointing my finger at someone who claimed to be the forty-third descendant of the messenger and yet could not speak the language of the message. I am guilty for being partial, unfair, and prejudice to one of my Arab students who accused the refugees and displaced people as being pests and the cause of the problems for he is a boorish creature who blamed the victims for the crime that was inflicted upon them.

I am guilty as charged for all of the above, but I will never admit my guilt for seeking a new life outside the Arab nation. Starting and establishing a new life in a place on this Earth where I am treated with full respect to all of the basic human rights instead of being judged by my name and place of birth is a dream of so many oppressed, demoralized, and subjugated people across the world. This may not be corny, but I know for sure “ a drained brain is better than a brain in the drain.”

Omar Manasreh
25 July 2008