Removing religions and fates from the equation, astronomers and physicists constructed models and theories to describe our existence and how the universe started. Even though these models provide explanation that one can understand, they are still insignificant, controversial, and creating more questions than providing answers, such as: is there a universe or multiverse?   Most theories indicate that our known universe was merely made of hydrogen atoms (one proton and one electron).  In order for the fusion of hydrogen atoms to take place to produce other elements with multi protons, neutrons, and electrons, such as iron and calcium, a huge force or energy has to exist to facilitate this fusion. This force/energy is generated only during the explosion of a dying star called supernova.  The remnants of the supernovae are the elements that we human know in addition to what is called neutron stars.  These neutron stars are quite massive beyond our imagination. One theory suggested that if a table spoon full of materials from a neutron star dropped at the surface of the Earth, it will penetrate it as a bullet passing through a bar of butter. Planets and stars, including our solar system, are then formed from the remnants of the supernovae.  If one believes in this model, the human race as well as any living entity on this Earth were really made of elements created in a belly of a supernova. In other words, we are the sky walkers, we are the people of the stars, we are the aliens who came to this Earth from far away stars.

The periodic table of elements we human constructed seems to be incomplete according to the laws and theories of physics known to us.  One of the latest theories indicates that there must be another factor in keeping our universe in balance.  This factor is named dark energy or dark matter.  This dark matter is theorized to fill the space in this universe.  It even penetrates our body without feeling it.  This dark matter is the missing link needed to reconstruct the laws of physics and perhaps create a new periodic table. Thus, the balancing act is repeated in the atoms that form our bodies and propagated into our tissues and systems to reach solar systems, galaxies and the entire universe or even multiverse (if they exist).  This balancing act extends beyond our constituent atoms and tissues to cover another integral part of our existence we call it emotion.  The balance of this emotion is so essential to keep our sanity intact. If there is an imbalance in one’s emotion, we may call him crazy, irrational, or for simplicity insane. The modern cultures institutionalize these insane people and lock them up out of sight.

When one tries to self-checking his/her sanity, it really means in many ways looking back to rebalancing the emotions and readjusting to the surroundings. In my case, I feel I am trapped in two sets of parallel coordinates.  One set is centered in United States where the new world offers latitude of luxuries, indulgences, and extravagances that are not available to everybody on this Earth. The other set of coordinates is centered in the town of my birthplace, Bani Naim, Palestine. To keep my sanity intact, I perform a balancing act between these two sets of coordinates or one may call them two different spaces. Occasionally, I dephased from one space to find myself inside the other.

One of my early memories is when my family moved from the town in an early spring season to the country side to cultivate a piece of land we owned. This piece of land located on the lower left corner of the accompanied image overlooking the valley. To me this piece of land is the center of my universe.  I recall the move was made at a time even before I attended grade school. This semi-nomadic life was common during my childhood time.  My parents chose the place where the camp was built.  It was near an ancient ruin with two water cisterns that were still functional as if the several centuries of wear and tear have no effect on them. The camp itself was overlooking a valley that gave the feeling of a vast land surrounding us.  A hut was built during the first morning of our trip.  It was simply a circular enclosure with rocks piled at the top of each other and covered with a home-made canvas made of goats’ hair. The hut looks like a miniature Teepee. The air was fresh and crisp. We settled inside this hut in mid-day and suddenly a wild pigeon jetted into the hut.  We grabbed this poor pigeon. It turns out it was escaping from claws of a hawk that was circling at the top of the hut.  The pigeon was cooked and it was very delicious especially after a very hard working day.  This carnivorous hawk may have babies to feed, but the balancing act of nature directed this pigeon to us whom need it more so than the hawk’s family.

During the months I spent camping in the hut, I enjoyed walking up and down the valley and discovering insects and wild life. Large lizards were my favorite, but a fox family where entertaining the most.  They were most active either in early mornings or evenings. Sometimes I sat on a large rock and talked very loudly to hear my own echo across the valley.  One afternoon, I was walking up the hill toward the hut and encountered a large snake. At the beginning, I thought it had a very beautiful design with several colors shimmering against the sun. The encounter with this snake could have been a pleasant experience if it is not for the fact the snake started flickering its forked-tongue at me.  I ran away as fast as my legs could carry me and announce it to my mother.  I hated snakes since that incident.

Looking back in time to the ancient ruins outside the hut gave me the shivers.  These ruins appeared to consist of several rooms and perhaps more than one level.  The way the stones were piled up against each other indicates the building was destroyed by an earthquake.  I wondered very often about what had happened to the people who built it. Their water cisterns served many generations of people including my own family.  I thought about many things regarding my experience during that spring season and all indications lead me to believe in one thing; the balancing act that permitted me to experience the events of that spring season must have been set for a reason that is beyond my intuition.

The ordeal of the wild pigeon keeps popping up into my mind up to this day perhaps because I was spooked by that pigeon.  The other side of the pigeon incident is that there are balancing acts outside our control. Everything happens in the present has implications to what might define the future even though we have no control on it despite what the astrologists, astronomers, and physicists predict.  All I know for sure is that the events I experienced in my childhood have defined who I am and somehow affect my balancing acts I performed in the past and might perform in the future.

During the first few years of my life while living in Bani Naim, I inhaled fresh air and ate fresh fruits.  I experienced the living of simplicity and honesty. I gazed at the night skies searching for stars, constellations, and distant galaxies.  Perhaps I was looking in the night sky for the places in which my atoms were created. During my childhood, I walked dusty allies and roamed the wilderness we called masafers in the country side of Bani Naim.  This wilderness witnessed my parents, grandparents, and ancestors walking up and down left and right. Their atoms and remnants are still roaming the land refusing to leave.  For me nothing replaces the enjoyment of walking up and down the hills and valleys of the countryside of Bani Naim. If it is not for those few years of my life I lived in Bani Naim, I could have enjoyed every day, every moment, every place, and every action wherever my current coordinates take me.  This place I call Bani Naim is my frame of reference where the origin of my coordinates were created.  The balancing act of this universe tells me I will end up going back to my frame of reference with all of my atoms.

Omar Manasreh
28 June 2012